As I sit here typing, I am on the verge of being 24 years of age.
Being on this planet for 24 years seems to have gone rather quickly, and I feel like I have learned very little and accomplished even less.
Not to be all doom and gloom, but I always used to be excited about my birthdays. With this one, I'm not. The years are adding up, and before I know it, I'll be 40.
It's not like my situation hasn't gotten better as the years have passed though. When I turned 20, I waved goodbye to my teens, thankful that I wasn't a child anymore. Though now, I find that I can be more immature than I was back then.
At 21, I went to a bar with my sister and some of her friends, and toasted to my legal drinking age (as I had never drank before). I found that I didn't really like bars all that much.
The day after I turned 22, I was thrown out of the house for obvious reasons. That was undoubtedly the low point of my existence, as I really had no where to go. I know that my friends were there for me (a tip of the hat to all of you), but I needed to get things done away from home.
At 23, I had found a great job and sort of reconciled with my parents, albeit tenuously.
Now, I am on the verge of 24, and I'm still on the grave shift. I don't have any big plans for this birthday, though my sister said something about reserving me for Saturday (I get booked quickly, as my mother puts it).
What milestone will 24 bring? Will I finally find that special someone? Will I move up the corporate ladder? I know that sitting around and waiting for things to happen has always gotten me nowhere - so why should the future be any different?
I guess it's a good idea to list some realistic goals, and work from there.
So I took the Myers-Briggs Personality Test gain, just to see how I've changed/stayed the same. So, here's the rundown:
Profile: ENFJ
ENFJs are the benevolent 'pedagogues' of humanity. They have tremendous charisma by which many are drawn into their nurturant tutelage and/or grand schemes. Many ENFJs have tremendous power to manipulate others with their phenomenal interpersonal skills and unique salesmanship. But it's usually not meant as manipulation -- ENFJs generally believe in their dreams, and see themselves as helpers and enablers, which they usually are.
ENFJs are global learners. They see the big picture. The ENFJs focus is expansive. Some can juggle an amazing number of responsibilities or projects simultaneously. Many ENFJs have tremendous entrepreneurial ability.
ENFJs are, by definition, Js, with whom we associate organization and decisiveness. But they don't resemble the SJs or even the NTJs in organization of the environment nor occasional recalcitrance. ENFJs are organized in the arena of interpersonal affairs. Their offices may or may not be cluttered, but their conclusions (reached through feelings) about people and motives are drawn much more quickly and are more resilient than those of their NFP counterparts.
ENFJs know and appreciate people. Like most NFs, (and Feelers in general), they are apt to neglect themselves and their own needs for the needs of others. They have thinner psychological boundaries than most, and are at risk for being hurt or even abused by less sensitive people. ENFJs often take on more of the burdens of others than they can bear.
TRADEMARK: "The first shall be last"
This refers to the open-door policy of ENFJs.
Functional Analysis
Extraverted Feeling rules the ENFJ's psyche. In the sway of this rational function, these folks are predisposed to closure in matters pertaining to people, and especially on behalf of their beloved. As extraverts, their contacts are wide ranging. Face-to-face relationships are intense, personable and warm, though they may be so infrequently achieved that intimate friendships are rare.
Like their INFJ cousins, ENFJs are blessed through introverted intuition with clarity of perception in the inner, unconscious world. Dominant Feeling prefers to find the silver lining in even the most beggarly perceptions of those in their expanding circle of friends and, of course, in themselves. In less balanced individuals, such mitigation of the unseemly eventually undermines the ENFJ's integrity and frequently their good name. In healthier individuals, deft use of this awareness of the inner needs and desires of others enables this astute type to win friends, influence people, and avoid compromising entanglements.
The dynamic nature of their intuition moves ENFJs from one project to another with the assurance that the next one will be perfect, or much more nearly so than the last. ENFJs are continually looking for newer and better solutions to benefit their extensive family, staff, or organization.
Sensing is extraverted. ENFJs can manage details, particularly those necessary to implement the prevailing vision. These data have, however, a magical flexible quality. Something to be bought can be had for a song; the same something is invaluable when it's time to sell. (We are not certain, but we suspect that such is the influence of the primary function.) This wavering of sensory perception is made possible by the weaker and less mature status with which the tertiary is endowed.
Introverted Thinking is least apparent and most enigmatic in this type. In fact, it often appears only when summoned by Feeling. At times only in jest, but in earnest if need be, Thinking entertains as logical only those conclusions which support Feeling's values. Other scenarios can be shown invalid or at best significantly inferior. Such "Thinking in the service of Feeling" has the appearance of logic, but somehow it never quite adds up.
Copyright © 1996 by Joe Butt
Should I be worried that this synopsis was written by someone named Joe Butt?
As per my usual daily routine, I checked my e-mail and got quite a few messages from people I don't know about increasing the size of specific parts of my person, up to and including breasts. Of course, there were also deals for getting passwords, e-mail accounts, drugs, and all manner of illegal goods and services.
Why am I getting e-mails to increase my breast size if I'm male? I already have an e-mail account, and I don't need to share it with someone else. I don't need pills or drugs to enhance my performance. I don't need female escorts nor have the means or desire to support any farm animals.
And, as per my usual routine, I sighed and checked the "Delete?" box next to all of these offending messages. I happened to notice a surprising trend - I seem to be very popular in both the lesbian and 16-year-old twin sisters social circles as well. They all seem to want my "giant lumber" & "hard member".
Do I look like a sex-addicted, crack-dealing, drug-using, e-mail-spying, child-abusing, money-stealing, twin-girl-loving, lesbian-escort-hiring large-breasted promiscuous, disease-ridden transsexual cyber-pirate alcoholic with a penchant for using male enhancement and shepherding animals?
No.
Stupid spam. Now I'm wondering how many freaks will type in anything from the list above in a search engine and be directed to my blog. There's a lot of sick puppies out there.
Mother's Day gave me somewhat of an excuse to try to reconcile once again with my parents.
I have tried to make them happy as long as I have lived, but its never been enough. Because of the futiity of this struggle, I decided to move on and concern myself with my own happiness and not theirs. Needless to say, it ended as one would expect - with my disownment.
Before anyone gets upset or anything, let me just tell you that it has been a run-of-the-mill thing for years, and I have since grown used to not having a family at all. Suck as it did, it made me stronger.
Still, I want a connection, no matter how weak. I went over there today and endured the fire. They were unhappy with me, as per usual, but I didn't just throw up my arms and leave like I wanted. Instead, I stood there and let them say what they wanted, and I fought back.
They didn't make any vaild points. Their arguments were unfounded, and they weren't taking an objective stand on anything. They also threw in helpings of subjective banter and emotionally-charged logic (or non-logic, as I'll call it).
Anyway, it turned out that, depsite the fact that they weren't being reasonable, they did listen to reason (don't ask me... I'm not them... well, genetically I am, but I'm not them).
For my efforts, we're all on speaking terms again. Hopefully, things will only get better. However, I have learned (again and again, I may add) that this is only a fleeting silence of the storm. I'll get out of it what I can, but this time, I'm not counting on it to last, nor do I expect anything more than casual conversation.
I awoke to the gentle burning touch of Sol. His radiant energy thawed the sleep from my atrophied frame, compelling my essence, my being, to wake. The windows to my soul, struck by the brilliant burning star, slowly opened as dun-colored irises attenuated to the glowing afternoon resplendence.
The day is mine to embrace and love once again. I have given the vespertine mistress her due, and now I reawaken into the world of warmth and light to join once again with the throng of humanity.
Were not my listless patron of employment so necessary for numismatic compensation, I would bear not its avaricious agenda and fortwith egress from my current avocation as a contriver of helpless single-celled organisms.
At least I have the weekend though. And if I want to go anywhere, I have to deal with traffic.